Welcome to the food chain!

Okay, this is F L O R I D A people!!!

I know you all move down here from DC, NY, OHIO, wherever and really enjoy our fine state's weather. However, please do at least A LITTLE homework about your destination. Each spring Floridians with 1/2 a brain avoid all but the clearest fresh water lakes and rivers for one big toothy reason...GATORS. Not the college team, the real thing, averaging six to ten feet long with a bite that can snap 2x4's like toothpicks. Although gators are here all year it is the springtime rut that makes them particularly grumpy, aggressive, and much more territorial.

So for those of you still not getting it...even an adolecent gator has the strength, skill, and attitude to KILL YOU.

This past week 3 unlucky souls have met there fate in the gruesome jaws of alligators. Yet in each of these sad media-hyped deaths the victims ALL did something that violated the uneasy truce between gators and humans. The first, although reported to have gone for a jog, was actually sitting by a canal with her feet either in or very near the water. This is the gator's best kill zone.

Anyone who has watched those national geographic shows of the african river crocodiles knows that the first wildebeast to get killed is the one who ventures too close to the water. The hungry gator launches himself out of the water from his hiding place just off the shoreline, up onto the bank grabbing what ever unlucky creature got too close. The victim is shaken violently then dragged beneath the surface to drown. My heart goes out to her family but knowingly or unknowingly she was sitting in the middle of the gator's lunch buffet.

The two other victim's were swimming in areas KNOWN TO HAVE GATORS PRESENT and one even left the protected area of a state park spring into an uncontrolled area where she was attacked and killed.

I know Florida is hot, I know the water is very inviting, BUT in this state you MUST assume that almost any body of fresh water has at least one good sized alligator in it. Furthermore, in springtime a young gator's thoughts turn to female gators and god help you if you get between the two or invade a horny gator's lake. If you do the gator looks at you and sees you as lunch or worse yet, a rival. Either way you just entered the food chain and better know how to fight, swim, run, heck...walk on water if you want to go home with all your parts intact. BE SAFE, BE SMART, DON'T FEED, MOLEST, OR SWIM WITH GATORS. You've been warned.

Happy Birthday Dad

Today is my father's 67th birthday.

Today is the first time I can't wish him Happy Birthday.

My Father died at 6pm on Tuesday, February 21, 2006.

It is not important how he died. It is much more important how he lived. He loved my mom with all his heart from the day he first met her till the day he died. He tried hard to be the kind of dad his father was not. He worked 2, 3, and sometimes 4 jobs at a time to make a better life for his family. He complained frequently, bitched loudly, but laughed heartily. He was born Scottish, raised Scottish, and died a proud Scotsman. He loved America so much he brought us here and promised us a life he had never known in Scotland. He lived each day with the goal of being a good father, good husband, good provider, and a good man. He succeeded in more ways than he ever knew.

I LOVE YOU DAD,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YA AULD SCUNNER!